finally a member of the elite

2021.10.22 13:49 Healyman5000 finally a member of the elite

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2021.10.22 13:49 gui_crb I typed the story of the Space Bags episode as a form of meditation for myself, though might as well post it here in case some one likes reading idk...

SPACE BAGS.
Jameson: No, look boss! I know a lot of customers have been complaining. But I think, you know, one out of every three lattes being good and the other being unsalvageable is kind of a good success rate. Better than my old job.
Darren: I mean, it’s better than none.
Jameson: Exactly, that’s what I’m saying.
Darren: Sorry, but people have been complaining about that? How many people? How long have you been waiting to tell me about this?
Jameson: When was the last time you checked our yelp?
Darren: I mean god, who uses Yelp? Do people still use Yelp?
Jameson: Well they do, especially for small family owned cafes like this. But like, six months.
Darren: Six months.
Jameson: Yeah, the average is… it’s dipped, it's like two, two and a half out of five.
Darren: No, it can’t be that low.
Jameson: I don’t want to say that it’s all because of my latte thing. That’s not what I’m saying, I actually think that you've had a bit of an attitude the last six months.
Darren: Excuse me? No, also get out of my chair, you’re sitting on my side of the desk, stand up and go around to the other side.
Jameson: Fine Fine.
Darren: I can’t believe I let you sit there for that long. You can’t come into my office and tell me that I have an attitude.
Jameson: You’ve had an attitude all year.
Darren: Jameson, hush! Let me look through these reviews. Yes, every single one of these is talking about and, this is not my language, I would never speak like this, “piss poor excuses for latte”.
Jameson: I’m sorry, I thought you were my Darren, I thought you were supposed to champion me as part of the family. Do you want me to call my aunt?
Darren: Just because I’m your Darren doesn’t mean that I’m obligated to, do you want to call my wife?
Jameson: Yeah, I do. Then you’ll be in the doghouse.
Darren: Great, call her, call my wife and tell her about how you can’t be a barista for shit.
Jane: Hi honey! How’s work today my favourite nephew of all time? The sun revolves around you?
Jameson: It’s not going great, your husband he uh, he’s kind of bullying me. He’s trying to blame his bad yelp reviews on me.
Jane: Oh honey! Oh sweet sweet angel boy! Oh my beautiful baby boy! Oh the sweetest light of my life.
Jameson: Thank you!
Jane: You know what? you don’t pay him any mind. You just keep doing what you do. It’s probably just his attitude.
Jameson: I also think it’s his attitude.
Darren: Is she saying it’s my attitude?
Jameson: Do you want to talk to him?
Jane: Yeah, put me on with him.
Hands him the phone.
Darren: Oh my god, hi honey.
Jane: What are you doing, talking to our boy like that?
Darren: He’s not our boy, his parents aren’t even dead. They live a couple of blocks away, they take great care of him. I don't know why you’re so bent on raising him.
Jane: Because he’s a perfect angel, now you apologise to him right now!
Darren: You know what honey? I will apologise to him if he can prove to me that his lattes aren’t what is bringing our company under.
Jameson: I can’t do that.
Jane: He says he can’t do that.
Darren: EXACTLY! That 's the point! He can’t make a latte, that’s what I’m saying.
Jane: You’re putting him under too much pressure, isn't that right honey? Jameson: It’s like, there is so much pressure right now, like, to make a good coffee, it’s like…
Darren: It’s your one job! It’s your one job to make good coffee, what do you mean there is so much pressure?
Jameson: No, it’s also to greet the customer and smile.
Darren: And have you been doing that?
Jameson: Not all the time ‘cause I’m not always in a good mood.
Cut to him working the front. Customer walks in.
Jameson: Yeah?
Customer: Oh, well alright.
Customer walks out.
Darren: See? I saw that on the security footage, that’s the one thing I HAVE been keeping an eye on.
Jameson: You’ve been watching the security footage to critique my performances? Jane! Jane!
Jane: I know! I know! My perfect little pancake boy! You are my sweetest pancake with all the fixins!
Darren: What?
Jameson: The sweetest pancake with all the fixins she said! You don’t know about pancake fixings? It’s like the suroup, the butter, the cream and berries.
Darren: Stop it! This is insane! I’m sorry to get mad but you know what? there is only one way to settle this, Jane you are going to come to the shop right now.
Jameson: Aunt Jane, this is the attitude I was talking about. This is what I was trying to tell you.
Jane: I’m closing space bags for winter, I don’t have time.
Darren: You’re going to come down here, he’s going to make you a latte, and if you genuinely like it, we get to keep him.
Cut to that.
Jane: Hello my sweet boy, my sweet honey dumpling.
Jameson: Heeey, ear to ear smile, ear to ear grin, I couldn't be greeting you in a better way!
Darren: Ok, sweety why don’t you order anything off the menu?
Jameson: Aunty, your wish is my command.
Jane: Ooooooh, you are my sweetest little munchkin, my sweetest little cupcake! You know what? I would love an out milk latte with a little splash of hazel nut, how about that?
Jameson makes it, but takes a whole hazel nut and drops it in.
Jameson: Where did you even get that?
Jane: Ooooh my, so creative!
Darren: I don’t think so, it looks like a loose nut that he found.
Jameson: Can you now spew your poison uncle?
Darren: Fine, taste it. I cannot imagine that this tastes good.
She takes a sip. And the nut goes down her throat and gets lodged.
Jameson: Uncle! Now you see what you did! You set up this whole test….
Darren: What I did? What YOU did!
Jameson: What YOU did, you’re spewing poison, sending negative vibes.
She drops dead.
Someone’s in the caffe, writing a Yelp review. ‘I was in the Good Morning Coffee Store and no one should ever go there again. Both the owner and the employee murdered the owner’s wife on the spot, I give this place 0.5 out of 5 stars because the air conditioning was nice on a hot summer day.’
Jameson: It was also his attitude wasn’t it?
‘It was also his attit…’ ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
fin.
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2021.10.22 13:49 Pharao96 Tastesless Alpaca

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2021.10.22 13:49 valongoria No idea how to prop. Is this white stuff mean it’s growing!?

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2021.10.22 13:49 astronaut_creator Ducks

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2021.10.22 13:49 plastic-cemeteries away from the city, away from the light

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2021.10.22 13:49 anonymous-shad0w Dysglycemia Risk Up for Women With PCOS, Regardless of BMI

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2021.10.22 13:49 Whiteymcgriff74 Any freaky ass questions you got for this Queen go follow her ig @chocolatetranscripts stop commenting stupid shit on this page lol

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2021.10.22 13:49 Yellow_haired_idiot Antiphaty Hank fanart (inspired on some pixel art i saw)

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2021.10.22 13:49 Swaggymac This glow looks awesome!

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2021.10.22 13:49 throwaway_fedemp123 Resign after ladder promotion? Seeking career advice

Throwaway account. I started working at a federal agency in January 2021 soon after graduating. My job is a 9/11 ladder position in the excepted service. I’m in the 0343 series. I like my supervisor and team. The work isn’t exactly what I want to be doing though. I feel like I’m losing a lot of my technical skills because I don’t use them in my work. As a STEM professional, I haven’t been very impressed with the federal government. The bureaucracy is stifling and makes the work slow.
I recently found an open position at a relatively new company that is exactly what I’m looking for. The position is fully remote, and the kind of work that I want to be doing long term. I have multiple contacts at this company and would have a good shot at getting the job if I applied. The remote work is really appealing to me. My agency is moving to 80% telework in February, but I don’t want to be tied to the city I’m currently living in.
My supervisor has commented that I will be promoted at my one year mark to an 11. Would it be a bad move to resign after my ladder promotion before I have one year in the 11 grade? I don’t dislike my job or my team, but this job isn’t advancing my long-term career goals.
Any and all advice is welcome. Thanks in advance!
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2021.10.22 13:49 Breadsticks305 How many people had signed up for the Area 51 raid?

I’m adding it to my essay and need to know how many people signed up for it, not showed up.
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2021.10.22 13:49 svanapps 10yo Girl Handcuffed, Arrested, Jailed for Drawing a Picture that Upset Her Bully’s Parent

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2021.10.22 13:49 anonymous-shad0w Depression May Worsen Survival in Advanced Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer

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2021.10.22 13:49 NittyGrittyDirt Dosser - Weighed Down

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2021.10.22 13:49 jcrazy78 Lindsay Lohan

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2021.10.22 13:49 AlbieDaBest reckon this is to do with the boys??

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2021.10.22 13:49 New-Flounder8616 Anyone else ever feels shitty when it’s a gorgeous day out and all you want to do is sit at home?

I wish work and life wasn’t so draining so I could go out and enjoy this gorgeous sunny day out today. It truly makes me feel awful that I’m not taking advantage of it. Yet, my body simply doesn’t want to do anything but rest. Some days I just put a cover over the blinds so that it can mimic that it’s “night” time and I won’t feel bad.
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2021.10.22 13:49 anonymous-shad0w Neuroimaging Soon After Trauma May Predict Stress Response

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2021.10.22 13:49 narni7inecadvil Jailyne Ojeda Sexy Bae Cam Record Show Her Massive Boobs And Ass

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2021.10.22 13:49 Economy-Doughnut-221 I wanna start in winter semester in person

Personally I'm really unmotivated to learn online, I tried taking a full course load but do not like leaning online.
Would it be an issue if I dropped all my courses and started in winter?
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2021.10.22 13:49 BotDefense overview for OdontoLxd

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2021.10.22 13:49 Selena_The_Latina Black Cat Cosplay by Selena The Latina

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2021.10.22 13:49 SpaghettiNipple420 Stick to me stickman

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2021.10.22 13:49 MessoGesso Poops too small for awhile

Hi,My dwarf bunny is 7 years old. She eats hay and drinks water, but her appetite for pellets is a little low. She leaves some in the bowl. I feed her 2 T of seeds (timothy hay based) in the morning and 3 T at night. She leaves some in the bowl. She didn’t do that before. .
She will eat fruit, like a bit of banana , a grape, or a slice of plum. She gets about 1 of those fruits a week. She lives in an X-pen which has a hidey box, blanket and stuffed kangaroo, water bowl, food bowl, piles of hay, and litter pan. I let her out once a day to run around. She runs, sleeps, runs, and returns to the pen. .
I know it’s a problem that she’s not eating any of the lettuce (romaine, spring mix or butter lettuce) or parsley (different typed plus cilantro). she used to eat. I know when she eats greens, her poop gets better to larger, shiny poops. Lately she has little round poop. They’re not connected or soft. just too small. .
Would you buy every bun suitable green in the market or go to the vet? When she has had g.i. stasis, she’ll stop eating everything. I usually can help her on my own since I’ve been to the vet so often. I can rub her tummy, give her baby anti gas medicine, let her run around more. But Idk how to get her greens.
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