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I (27m) just discovered the real reason my girlfriend (23f) “wanted space”

2021.10.25 07:47 dilluted-ribena I (27m) just discovered the real reason my girlfriend (23f) “wanted space”

Hi guys. Never posted here before, but I always see good advice so I hope someone can help.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. We worked at the same place, then spent all of lockdown with each other, and finally moved in together a few months ago. I was excited because she meant more to me than anyone ever has, and I was prepared to do anything for her. I changed job and moved to a new city to be with her this year. I constantly treated her, often at the expense of things I needed to get myself, but I always thought it was worth it.
There had been small issues before - always reflexively hiding her phone when I walked past, and she was closed off and wouldn’t talk to me about anything persona in depth. I know she had a past, and I didn’t want to press but I let her know i’d always be there if she needed to open up.
Physically, we had a great start to the relationship, but after 6 months she lost all interest in sex. That caused some friction, because she didn’t give me a reason for a long time after. When she eventually told me, she said it sometimes hurt and made her feel uncomfortable. I was patient and have never looked at another person in that way, happy to wait for her to feel comfortable again.
After the move, her behaviour changed. She started hiding things again, closed herself off and gradually shared less and less with me about her life. When she did tell me things, it was brief and always followed by a change of subject. I worried, but always discussed it with her calmly and asking for her thoughts on it.
We had a few big arguments in the space of 2/3 weeks after, then one night she wanted me to sleep of the sofa. When I woke up, she’d broken up with me by text from the next room - saying she needed space, but still wanted to live together.
Over the last few weeks since then, she’s gone from: being angry at me for taking my own space and not talking to her, then feeling uncomfortable when I’m nice and still do things for her as a friend would, then asking for more from me when I went neutral. I’ve still had concerns and asked for clarification on things, but she maintains “there’s nothing to worry about, why do you think I’d be the kind of person to fool around?”.
But, in the last month: - She’s started talking to a new guy almost nonstop, says he’s just a friend, but never meets up with him outside of work (as she has done with 3/4 other friends at work recently).

In hindsight, these things add up and look obvious, but I realise now she has been gaslighting me for weeks and it’s causing me a lot of mental damage. I worry that it’s easy to take the woman’s side in an argument, and any complaint I make to health services or police will backfire on me.
Asking her to be honest gets me nowhere, and I respect privacy too much to go through her phone. I finally reached a breaking point, and decided to do something about it. I placed my phone on record in the apartment while I was at work. When I came home and listened through the hours of footage, I heard the voice notes she was sending throughout the day, talking about moving in with the new guy who’s “just a friend”, and laughing about the dirty texts they’ve sent each other.
It was heartbreaking at first, but I have peace of mind that I wasn’t going mad imagining things.
What I don’t know now is how I approach the next step with the knowledge I have. Do I confront her with the recording, give her another chance to be totally honest and offer some closure, or file my complaint with the police about her gaslighting? She is manipulative and abusive, and although it would never get physical I don’t feel safe living with someone who is so unstable and vindictive.
I’m in the UK if that helps the answers. At the moment I just need a bit of reassurance, I’ll appreciate anything
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2021.10.25 07:47 Wambels A living room and a kitchen that I've built, what do you think?

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Hi all
A little bit of a random question but has anyone tried to mod a mkIV Webley to look more like a MKI ?
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I know it would be allot of work but this is more for time centric period piece for a LARP event.
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2021.10.25 07:47 vturesults What is the use of the “Get Data” icon in Power BI?

When users in Power BI click on the icon “Get Data”, a drop-down menu displays all data sources from which data can be ingested. Data can directly get ingests from sources such as Excel, XML, PDF, JSON, CSV, and SharePoint folder databases and formats such as SQL
https://power-bi.in/index.php?qa=75&qa_1=what-is-the-use-of-the-get-data-icon-in-power-bi
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2021.10.25 07:47 newyt4 A different format and a different scenario but playing for the same country. A reminder that this was just two months ago. The amount of hate Shami has got is unacceptable.

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2021.10.25 07:47 Binkyboo991 pls help me

today i bought and downloaded Call Of Duty Cold War. After it finally downloading i go to start it. It says that its downloading some stuff since its only just been installed and after only 2 minutes max it just crashes itself. i have nothing open but the battle launcher and the game itself. Ive opened it up in safe mode. My specs are a core I7 and an RTX 2070 if that matters. Please help me
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2021.10.25 07:47 BigBear12356 Does anybody want to play 2s?

Hi, I'm a gold 2 and I pretty much have no friends to play rocket league with, it would be cool if we could play my username is shadowspiny or simoncoolxdlol if that doesn't work.
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2021.10.25 07:47 Outrageous_Cat_6965 Whistleblowing about workplace low pay and working standards

Hi,
I was wondering if I could get some advice on whether the below counts as protected under whistleblowing if possible please?
If someone works for a company where the staff are paid the UK legal minimum wage but for the area they are in this pushes full time staff into complete poverty. Where once they have paid rent and essential household bills, and the cheapest transportation to work, they will still need to use food banks. If this was raised to the directors of the company and someone had in it writing that they were aware and weren't going to do anything about it, despite the fact the company makes over £100million in profit a year and brands themselves as being a caring film company that puts it employees first.
If all avenues within the company policies had been exhausted to try and resolve this, could someone whistleblow this to the media and would they be protected under whistleblowing policies or would it count as gross misconduct and a sackable offence?
This isn't something that affects me personally as I'm in management at said company on a higher pay, I'm just getting to the end of a fight for my employees, this feels so wrong and I can't see any other options.
I was hoping it would come under the "miscarriage of justice" whistleblowing, butas its not illegal although I feel it should be, I'm not sure if it does? If it helps there are other toxic things about the workplace, if people complain they will never be put forward for a promotion, will be proformanced managed out and agency zero hour staff will just be let go with no notice for being difficult. I only have concrete evidence for the pay part though, despite witnessing the rest I couldn't prove it in court it would just be my word against others.
I want to stand up for the people that work there that this affects but also worried about losing my own role if it wouldn't class as protected whistleblowing
I'm pretty sure the answer is going to be it doesn't fall under whistleblowing as technically legal but if anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it
Thanks in advance for your time
submitted by Outrageous_Cat_6965 to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]


2021.10.25 07:47 Blue_Consulting $18.5 Million Base Salary - Guaranteed in 2021 - This is what we paid for

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2021.10.25 07:47 CutMiserable I didn't realize until now that you can actually see the plane go down in the background of stage 1

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2021.10.25 07:47 Stephane7475 [Repost][Academic] Role of Emotion Management in Anxiety Development (people not suffering from Panic Attacks and 18+)

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2021.10.25 07:47 GregIsGreat Does anyone know where I can buy a youth bills jersey locally? It’s school spirit week for my 2nd grader and I have two days to find one. Thanks

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2021.10.25 07:47 Hammiams Daily Angel Beats 10/25/21 - Smug Aura

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2021.10.25 07:47 br01203 ‘This can’t be happening in Australia’: Doctors sing, dance while performing liposuction on unconscious patient

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2021.10.25 07:47 supertrooper747 Darkrai add 0056-7867-3232 add my partner 0624-2509-6605 Thanks starting now

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