2021.10.21 12:11 Jabbam Chinese aggression toward Taiwan testing US resolve in wake of Afghanistan withdrawal, experts say
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2021.10.21 12:11 SomaliMN My Fiancé tried to cut my implant out while I was asleep
This is a repost. The original post is by u/ThrowRAArmImpant
Throwaway account, because I don’t want this attached to my regular account.
Anyways, I (25f) have a two year old son from a previous relationship. After I gave birth, I was asked about birth control. I said, “Yes please” and now I have Nexplanon, a birth control that gets inserted into your upper arm. I was told it lasts 3 years.
Cut to now, my fiance (27m) told me he wants a baby. I said I did too, (just not now) and that I’d get my Nexplanon out after the three years are up and I won’t replace it. This wasn’t soon enough for him, he wanted me pregnant NOW. I stood firm and said I’m not ready to have another baby, I want to be a little more stabile, money wise and in general.
Fiancé was mad and we got into a big argument. I brought up my son and told him my son sees him as a father figure, that we already have a child to take care of while my birth control runs its course. All of a sudden he started shouting at me, saying he wanted a baby that’s biologically his and that every time he looks at my son he gets angry. I asked him why and he told me it’s because he sees my ex in my son. (My son looks a lot like his father.) He then went on to tell me he doesn’t feel like a parental figure to my son, he has no personal attachment to him. He says it’s because my son isn’t biologically his and he resents us for this.
Hence, the baby talk. He wanted my arm implant out immediately. I said no way, I’m not ready for another baby yet. We continue to argue about this until I’m finally tired and frustrated, so i say I’m done arguing and just head into our bedroom.
An important fact to know is that I take medication to sleep, a pretty strong medication with a high dosage. It knocks me flat on my ass, the Sandman comes and slaps me across the face so I’m down for the count.
After the argument, I take my pills and I go to bed. My fiancé was still in the living room when I fell into a deep sleep. Now another important fact, my fiancé knows where my implant is, He’s felt it under my skin, as it’s very noticeable when you’re feeling around for it.
I’m sleeping when I stir slightly awake after I felt fingers on my upper arm, prodding. With my eyes still shut, I tell my fiancé to stop poking me. I assumed he was just being petty and childish because of the fight.
He doesn’t stop and not five seconds after poking me, he presses down in the exact spot my Nexplanon is. At this point, I’m starting to get more alert and annoyed. I just wanted sleep and I can’t do that when I’m being jabbed. I opened my eyes to see what the hell he’s doing and ask why his finger is pressing directly on my Nexplanon.
The minute I opened my eyes, I notice an object in his free hand... a box cutter, which was very close to my upper arm. Now I’m on full alert and I ask him what the fuck he’s doing. He immediately looks guilty and tries to throw excuses at me. “I was just trying to scare you”, “I was checking to make sure you were alive and it’s a coincidence I’m holding the box cutter.“
I called bullshit on every excuse and said I wanted the truth. He looked down then told me he was doing me a favor. What favor? Glad you asked. He was going to remove the Nexplanon from my arm. He said he’s studied how to do it and he’s confident he can safely remove it. He said, “we can start expanding our family now! No need to wait eight months!”
I. Am. Livid. I immediately shout at him to get the fuck away from me and don’t touch me. He tries to talk to me, but I keep yelling he needs to leave, he can’t stay at our house right now because he admitted he was trying to cut into my arm, thus breaking my trust.
Finally, he walked out of the bedroom and a minute later, I heard the front door open then close.
It’s been three hours and he still hasn’t come back and I don’t know what to do when he does. I don’t know where we go from here. I love this man dearly but I don’t think I can forgive and forget this.
I don’t know what to do. Advice please?
Edit: I called my mother and she said I can stay with her, so I’m taking my son and leaving. I can’t respond to every comment, but just for a few quick questions - he’s never acted like this before. He’s always been so gentle and kind to me and my son. The argument and then the box cutter is completely new. During the fight, i hoped he was just in the heat of the moment and saying shit he doesn’t mean because he’s angry. I was hoping (naively) that he’d be back to sweet/kind the next morning and apologize for the hurtful comments and trying to overstep my boundaries. I honestly didn’t think he’d come at me with a box cutter. A lot of people are saying I should already know what to do, so I guess my “Idk what to do” should really be phrased, “has anyone had anything remotely similar to this happen to them?” I guess I might’ve also wanted reassurance that leaving is the best thing to do instead of waiting for him to come home and trying to talk it out. I love this guy deeply and it’s just hard for me to put both pieces of the puzzle together - the sweet guy I knew and the awful guy I saw tonight.
Essentially, my (now ex) fiancé did a complete 180 personality wise. Was so sweet and loving to both me and my son, until we fought about having another baby last night. He said horrible things and I was tired of fighting, so I took my Trazodone and went to bed. Woke up to him touching my arm implant birth control with a box cutter in his hand. Said he was doing me a favor, but I screamed at him to leave.
I ended up leaving last night with my son to stay at my mom’s. I was confused, shocked, hurt, scared. I still am... At seven this morning, my phone started buzzing like crazy - texts, calls, voicemails. All were from him, asking me where I went and when I was coming home. I didn’t respond. I just don’t even want to look at him or talk to him again.
He called my mom while we were both sitting in the kitchen discussing everything. She asked me if I wanted her to answer it. I said I just didn’t want to talk to him. My mom ended up answering and my ex was yelling, sounding panicky. He said I left with my son last night out of the blue and he’s worried, no mention of our fight. He asked when my mom last heard from me and she lied and said last night. He made a noise over the phone, like an angry sigh and said he was going to keep searching for me, that he’s worried something bad has or will happen to me and my son.
When my mom hung up, she pulled me into a hug. I guess I had started crying and didn’t realize it. She was still hugging me when she asked how I wanted to proceed, if I was done with him for good. I said I was and she nodded and told me first thing was to go to the police (like a lot of you said). I didn’t have any proof about the box cutter situation - it would come down to my word versus his. If he had even knicked me a little, I’d have a case against him, but since he technically didn’t hurt me, the detective said he’s seen cases similar to mine thrown out. The officer did bring up ex partes and suggested I get one for both me and my son immediately.
I went to the courthouse to get the paperwork filled out. I had to detail as much as I could remember from last night - every word and action. My mom helped me and we got them turned in and moved on to the next step - calling my landlord. I’ve been living in the same house for two years - the first year was a lease and now I pay month to month. Everything is in my name and most of the furniture is mine. I told my landlord what was briefly going on and that I was putting in my thirty day notice (my mom has a guest room that she’s insisting I stay in). After getting off the phone with him, I called the utilities and closed my accounts - water, electric, gas, internet.
Next my mother asked me what I wanted to do about my belongings. I told her I don’t want to leave anything that’s mine — all important papers, knickknacks, clothes, furniture, all of it. I just didn’t know where to put it, so my mom suggested a storage unit. Once that was decided, we had to figure out when to start the move. Mom ended up calling my two brothers and they both agreed to help me move, just give them a date and time. I told them definitely sometime this week and my eldest brother suggested a police presence, just in case. Think it’s called a civil standby? Idk, but I agreed.
By this point, it’s getting late in the day and I’m as drained as I can get. I just wanted to go curl up with my son and try to sort my thoughts out and calm down. The county clerk ended up calling me, telling me the judge granted my ex partes. She told me that I needed to come pick up paperwork, which had the court date on it. She also mentioned ex-fiance would soon be served and told me I don’t have to see him again until we go to court, to make the ex partes into permanent restraining orders. She suggested lawyering up, but I’m officially burnt out on today. I’ll look into lawyers tomorrow, but tonight, after this update? It’s a cuddle in bed with my son night.
A couple things that I’ve seen repeated - why didn’t I leave right when ex started saying those awful things about my son. I honestly thought he didn’t mean them. He’s told my son he loves him before. Part of it was also shock, I guess. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and that I was hearing it from someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I didn’t think he truly had hatred in his heart and it never crossed my mind that he would hurt me or my son. He’s never even spanked my son. I just thought we needed a cooling off period, so I removed myself from the situation to take my meds and sleep, naively thinking things would be better in the morning.
People also questioned why I would even bother sticking around to try to talk things out and that’s a valid question that I don’t have a rational answer to. Part of me thought I was dreaming, I think, and the other part is the side of me that thinks everything equates to being my fault, like I was too mean during the fight, too stubborn to see things his way and try to understand his feelings.
Idk. It’s late. Everything feels surreal and I have this pit in my stomach that feels like dread. What if ex shows up at my mom’s house? I still haven’t returned his messages or phone calls and now he legally can’t contact me anyways. I’ve had two of my best friends call, saying ex called them. My younger brother (who I guess has always hated ex but I didn’t know that until today) said even he got a call. So far everyone is saying they don’t know anything, but I’m scared. Idk. I’m sorry. Just thought I’d update.
SECOND UPDATE (added in the update post)
Update to the update - so many people offered great advice that I’d never think of myself. I’ve been kind of heavily relying on my mom to guide me through this and keep me and my son afloat. I’ve also been given several things to read, which I am absolutely going to when I have some down time. I appreciate every comment, from extremely helpful to well wishes and even the ones questioning the validity of this. To be honest and it’s a horrible cliche, but if it wasn’t happening to me, I probably wouldn’t jump to believing either. Sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and I end up sounding either very clinical in my typing, or very unnecessarily dramatic. So I get the mistrust. My update last night was written late, I was exhausted, but I wanted to let the people from my original post know — I took their advice and got out of there. My emotions have been so conflicting and chaotic, I’m surprised I was able to sound coherent, let alone like a “teenager writing fanfic”. I wish this was a fanfic. I could feel safe again.
My mom has been an absolute angel and I’ve shown her some of your comments, complimenting her. And she definitely deserves it! Never once did she make me feel I couldn’t be completely honest with her, she’s reopened her house to me (even though I moved out years ago). She’s really kept the ball rolling on everything with her organization skills. She made a list and yesterday we followed that list to the letter. When I wanted to put stuff off, she’d gently remind me of what could happen if I paused. Ex could find me, hurt me, hurt my son, or anyone helping to protect me.
You all are very right and I’m ashamed to say I didn’t realize just how much support I have and what a tremendous family I have. A couple people mentioned to be careful if Ex finds out where I am — and my mom and brothers already had a plan for me. They called it Round Robining - if Ex found me at mom’s, I’d flee to Eldest brother. If he finds me at Eldest brother, I’d temporarily stay with my younger brother. Really, I appreciate you all commenting that I’m doing things right and quick and how impressive it is, but that’s not my doing at all. That’s all on my family. They’re the extraordinary ones (there goes my fanfic cliches again) going above and beyond for me and my son.
Some of the comments that questioned my validity remarked that it was odd that I immediately went to Reddit to see what to do/how to feel. You’re all right, that it unusual, but not for me. I grew up when LiveJournal was a big thing, writing helps me organize my thoughts and I figured this community would help me understand... and I was right!
Another thing I want to address is Ex’s sudden change. I’m now wondering what to do for that. I don’t want him in my life still. But some of you mentioned a brain tumor or a psychotic break, so I’m worried. I sent Ex’s mother and father a message this morning saying I broke off the engagement and left, but both messages are still unread. I don’t know what to say to them, in regards to Ex’s health. Will they be mad for daring to say this might be a breakdown? Will they actually take him to get tests ran? And if they even tried, would he willingly go? I don’t know. I guess I need a little more advice about how to broach that.
There’s more to address and I even had a consultation with a lawyer today, but I can go into that another time. I’m still processing everything. It still doesn’t feel real, it feels like a badly written teenage fanfic, to be honest.
Idk. Sorry for rambling again, guys. I just wanted to let you know I’m taking notes from your helpful suggestions, that I’m not ignoring you guys. My mother took my son for ice cream and let me stay behind, which is why I decided to hop on Reddit and check on everything.
One last thing, though. The AWARDS, I’m truly humbled and grateful for them. Some of them I had to click on to see what it meant and they’re all so sweet! I’m endlessly thankful for the awards, your comments, and your messages.
FINAL UPDATE (added in the update post)
When my ex was served his papers, he did not take it well. I had already blocked him on everything, but he took a picture of his paper and posted it on Facebook, with a message to me and my son. A mutually friend saw it (and that it contained my personal information) and screenshot it to let me know. After taking advice, I called the police to see if it was a break in the ex parte.
They made an incident report and told me I could pick it up the next day at the police station. They didn’t arrest him. My mother had already procured me a great lawyer, “A shark, which is what we need” - in her own words. I told my lawyer about the screenshot and he immediately put in, both his appearance on my behalf, and a motion for contempt of court, for breaking the ex parte and threatening me and my son.
Our original official court date isn’t until next week, but the Judge got us in early to deal with the screenshot. Ex showed up without a lawyer and I showed up with only my lawyer. Due to COVID, no extra people allowed in the court room. I really wanted my mom there with me, but my lawyer (instead of sitting on the bench at the sides, reserved for lawyers) sat by me, kept himself between me and my ex at all times. A bailiff was there as well, I guess it’s standard procedure to have one in court.
My lawyer advised me to let him do all the talking, only answer questions when directed at me and answer them as succinctly as possible. Judge ended up giving Ex a warning, saying if he even mentions me or my son, he’d put him in jail 24 hours for every incident until the official court date. Ex was also ordered to pay my legal fees for the emergency session.
Friday, we got mine and my son’s possessions out of the house with massive help from friends and family. I knew Ex had to work Friday and we arrived (with a police officer, just in case) an hour after Ex should’ve been at work. We left anything that he could claim as his or that we’d bought together and I didn’t care about. Most of the items went into two different storage units, from the same place. The reason we chose these storage units is they’re gated and locked at night. The items me or my son would need for everyday use went to my mom’s.
Ex’s parents HAVE opened my messages now, but they still haven’t responded.
Lawyer said we’re still on for official court date next week and nobody has entered their appearance yet on behalf of Ex, so we’re unsure if he has a lawyer or not. Lawyer told me it’d follow basically the same as the first hearing. It’d be a general hearing, with other people having filed their own ex partes for other people. No extras allowed in the room, face masks required. He’d keep ex away from me. No talking unless answering questions, give succinct answers unless asked to clarify. He’s confident that the ex partes will become permanent restraining orders, but he warned me its not like it is in movies. The restraining orders will go for one year, unless a box is marked saying to re-issue it every year (I marked the box). He also said for every year, Ex has the ability to appeal it and we’d have to go to court all over again.
For now, I’m just... trying to keep my head above water. I’m kinda afraid because I’ve had people message me to tell me they’ve seen my post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Some of you sleuths have even found the state I live in. I’m just hoping Ex doesn’t find any of the posts and puts two and two together.
I’m sorry I haven’t responded to every comment or message and that this update is late. I’ve just been trying to keep my son’s life as normal as possible. It breaks my heart when he asks when we’re going home or where “Papa” is. He just knows we’re having a long sleepover with his Mimi. He’s loving having pets around, though. We weren’t allowed to have animals at my house, so the fact that my mom has a dog and a couple cats, he’s excited. I’ve warned his daycare about Ex. Most of my family and friends are aware there’s a serious situation, but not details.
Idk. It’s been a long week. I’m exhausted. I keep looking over my shoulder and I’ve made my mom buy extra locks for the doors. Some have mentioned cameras for the outside and my mom has already started pricing some. She said her sister (my aunt) has been trying to get her to try RING for months, so this is the kick in the pants she needed.
I’m sorry the update is late. Still feels surreal, but I have to just keep swimming (my son is obsessed with Finding Nemo).
PROOF OF OOP'S NEXPLANON IMPLANT
THE EX PARTE OOP FILLED OUT AGAINST HER EX
SCREENSHOT OF THE EX'S SNAPCHAT
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2021.10.21 12:11 Tatsuya27 Planning my Lego Room with ... Lego Boxes ?
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2021.10.21 12:11 UB40Paco Minting for JungleCats Has Concluded (SOLD OUT)
2021.10.21 12:11 darkjaffs 7x April's ATH: Bitcoin Transactional Volume Reaches $700 Billion in a Week
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2021.10.21 12:11 yourmumforpm How much income and wealth is necessary for optimal levels of well-being?
I was under the impression that more money doesn't make people happier if they already have enough money to meet their "needs". This is based off some research I read quite some time ago.
I think I read there was some threshold around $75k/year income that, from above that, people weren't significantly happier from the extra income.
Personally, I am poor. Not homeless poor but like poor for my age. Most of my friends would have greater income and wealth than me. My income pre tax is like $30-35k I think roughly. Yes, I know, I am poor lol.
But my mental health and well-being, at least currently, is pretty good. Naturally I'm curious if me earning more money will improve my well-being and quality of life.
Also, just generally curious about the question in the posts title...will more income/wealth make people happier?
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2021.10.21 12:11 Trooski Pull Through
2021.10.21 12:11 regwregarvfse Indiana town will give you cash and ‘grandparents on demand’ if you move there
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2021.10.21 12:11 reddit150302 ファイザー製ワクチン追加接種、95.6％の有効性 デルタ株にも効果
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2021.10.21 12:11 TobiHovey Tech Platform Behind Sotheby’s NFT Metaverse Raises $20 Million
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2021.10.21 12:11 Clyax113_S_Xaces Definitively Cannot Trigger Drop Of Nectar
After much experimentation, I can conclude it is not possible to use the "trigger" mechanic from cooking to add a trigger to Drop of Nectar to trigger the 25% chance to increase attributes by +1. I haven't tested it, but I hypothesis the same applies to Neutron Flux.
submitted by Clyax113_S_Xaces to cavesofqud [link] [comments]
2021.10.21 12:11 acoldandbrokenbone Add Teams voice user to Mitel ACD
2021.10.21 12:11 ladyaquarius1 Would you leave a position you’ve held for 4 months for a new job that paid more money?
I’m currently a senior media planner making $75k with a company that I recently onboarded with 3-4 months ago.
I’m getting entertained with interviews and the possibility of moving into the $85k - $90k salary range. Which, not gonna lie, is tempting.
If you were in my position and were offered $90k — would you leave?
submitted by ladyaquarius1 to advertising [link] [comments]
2021.10.21 12:11 ShortAlgo $PBCT Waiting for Short signal on PBCT https://t.co/GeCmobgohA
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2021.10.21 12:11 HelgaRazor 25F Being a musician is inherently hot, right?
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2021.10.21 12:11 WillIsNotHot Ariel Winter
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2021.10.21 12:11 bung0chungo The Bends
2021.10.21 12:11 lilysmh043 Arrows u.p if your dick is above bigger than 5"Snap: lilysmh02
2021.10.21 12:11 Priklan Ipak je Radojičić bio u pravu
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2021.10.21 12:11 DearEntertainment535 W2C AJ4 UNC under 200 yuan
I had the luijia boutique 168 batch in my wegobuy but paypal delayed my balance topup and they sold out before i could buy. Any suggestions on where i can pick up a decent budget pair??
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2021.10.21 12:11 JackyOmlet Ash has a data knife
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2021.10.21 12:11 Remarkable_Reward514 Find whats wrong here I'll wait
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