2022.01.25 19:59 Field_Wizard My alcoholic father is slowly killing my enabling grandparents
I'm quite thankful for the grandparents I have. They helped me through college (housing and food) and paid for the therapy that helped me become the person I am today. My brother and I were on the path of becoming like our father, a chronic alcoholic and former drug dealer, and therapy helped us move past that reality to one where we are succeeding instead.
We did an intervention for my father several years back, the terms of which were for him to agree to get help and do it right or we're going to cut all ties and begin to mourn him. He was doing well for a few months until an old ex-girlfriend got in contact with him and in two month's time they were married and he was off the rehab/recovery/AA train.
During this time our therapist, who organized and facilitated the intervention, passed away due to complications with leukemia. My brother and I cut off our father, but our grandparents still have not, using excuses such as "we can't abandon our child" or "we can't let him starve" to continue to enable him in the hopes of saving him from his situation/wife.
They chauffeur him around as his own personal taxi, give him money to cover groceries and the ever frequent tire/medical/etc bill that his wife needs cash for (she's been in and out of prison several times for cocaine/crack, so that's where it's actually going). If he cashes his paycheck (when working) and brings it home, it's gone in a day, so they've been holding on to his money after payday requiring that any time he needs any that he bother them (at all times of night). They keep his tools (also for work) because if he brings them home they're pawned/sold nearly overnight for more drug money. They feed him any time he graces their doorstep, and if his wife gets too violent (he's lost his vision in one eye due to her beating him) he stays the night at their house. They pray for her to go to jail forever, not realizing somehow that his poor decisions got them all where they are in the present, and given the opportunity he'd do it again.
Both of my grandparents have had a stroke in the last year (they're in their early 80's). My grandmother took a severe hit to her short term memory so now during phone calls I have to repeat myself frequently when she asks what I'm cooking for dinner or what I do at my job, etc. My grandfather lost fine motor functionality on his left side, and can no longer play the banjo (one of the only hobbies he's kept up for over 30 years). They're increasingly no longer the people I remember, and it pains me to see them deteriorating before my eyes and living a drama-filled nightmare that they're electing to be a part of.
I had a few conversations with them in the last month, and they're digging in their heels. They're going to enable him, and there's no talking them out of it. After the last heated conversation this weekend, I've decided to distance myself emotionally from their situation, and I'm not having a good time of it; I know it's in my best interest, but I love these stupid old people and hate to see them suffer. There's really nothing left for me to say to them, though.
I'm at a loss now, and I feel the same as when I mourned my father, but this time for them. I'm not cutting off contact, but I'm no longer letting myself get angry or emotionally invested because of their situation when they complain about their suffering.
It hurts, I'll tell you that.
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2022.01.25 19:59 geovaldez1989 Has anyone tried the eBay 13s diy boards with any success? Looking to buy 13 of them and build a system.
2022.01.25 19:59 edm_amvs Demon Slayer Season 2 AMV
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2022.01.25 19:59 juaninazio Did any of you ever have a bum uncle? The one who would always embarras the whole family and your mom would always warn you to never end up like him?
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2022.01.25 19:59 JaehyunCutie which super power would u rather want?
2022.01.25 19:59 itsnoterik Gunner releases his Anti-Lost drum and base mind control song
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2022.01.25 19:59 Spirited-Pilot1777 WHat i got in the giveaway torunement
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2022.01.25 19:59 Glittering_Suit_6511 gravity falls at its best
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2022.01.25 19:59 SickeningRat Psionic Beam bug? (PS4)
Upon putting points into this skill, it quickly became clear that it doesn't actually work on PS4 (with Ragnarok and Atlantis installed). Just the normal staff attack happens, with Psionic Touch. It seems as though the projectile speed and chance to pass through bonuses are actually being applied to the staff attack, but not the -1 charge and the actual Psionic Beam channeling/skill/animation itself doesn't happen.
A quick search shows some others reporting the same issue, but since these comments are few and they are from 1-2 years ago I didn't think it would still be a problem.
Unfortunately this would seem to be an almost build-breaking issue as I've purposely spent 40 skill points on the Dream mastery bar specifically to use this skill, which will now go to waste as they can't be refunded.
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2022.01.25 19:59 Master_zucumber u/Majestic_Pie69
2022.01.25 19:59 GustavoRossetto [FOR HIRE] commissions OPEN! Character Design | D&D | Fantasy/RPG | Full illustrations and more!
2022.01.25 19:59 activemindstu GBM #2 TIME ⏰⏰⏰ Come out to the HGSC room 220 this coming THURSDAY at 6 PM for a fun-filled time of jeopardy🤩 P.S. new semester, new room!DIRECTIONS: walk into the student center entrance on the north side (starbucks), go up the stairs to 2nd floor in student center north, turn right, then turn left
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2022.01.25 19:59 V-TriggerMachine AJ Styles threatens the S.E.X. with a chainsaw
2022.01.25 19:59 yepitsviral CheaperThanTherapy
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2022.01.25 19:59 SixteenTimesTheTodd Praise Todd Howard
2022.01.25 19:59 alexhmc you're a trans girl yet you want to abolish the government?
2022.01.25 19:59 DestinyGrinder109 Would I enjoy this game
I have never really played many MMO's but wanted to give the genre another try since the game came back for purchase on Steam, but I am not sure if I will like it. The main MMO I have played before is Albion, and I enjoyed that a bunch with my friends. I am also into farming games like Monster Hunter so will I enjoy this game?
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2022.01.25 19:59 Main_Volume_881 Cop Porn
2022.01.25 19:59 MagnoliaMackerel I got a nice camera so I HAD to do a blåhaj photoshoot!
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2022.01.25 19:59 AnnoyingJaguar Truth
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2022.01.25 19:59 wildly-moderate123 Struggling with talking about sex with my teen
How do you exmo parents handle teen sexual activity?
For background, I've been POMO for about 3 years and was PIMO for about 10 years before that. However, I was a TBM before that and deeply believed in being a virgin before I got married. I'm still trying to sort out my feelings and beliefs about pre-marital sex. My teen (19) has been in a relationship for well over a year and is sexually active. I've done what I can to make sure birth control is used. However, I must admit that I AM NOT OK with this whole thing. I say no when the teen wants the partner to stay overnight and my teen thinks I'm ridiculous. Am I being ridiculous? My spouse says "you don't get to play house until you are able to make house." I pretty much agree with this.
Also, I'm worried about when this relationship inevitably ends and my teen starts dating again. I feel like it can be very detrimental for some personality types to adopt an attitude that sex doesn't matter so do whatever makes you feel good. I think jumping into an intimate relationship early on in relationships can be damaging to both the relationship and the person. I know for me at least that it would have been disastrous due to my personality. I know I'm probably in the minority but I have never regretted waiting until I was married for sex (this may also have something to do my track record of dating weirdos until my spouse came along) . However, I also fully understand how damaging "purity culture" can be and I don't want to inflict the shame that comes with that on my child. I know that many people feel very differently about sex and I am not here to judge!!!!!
What rules have you put in place and how do you discuss these things with your teens?
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2022.01.25 19:59 andrewforrest4 Hydraulic Tree Shear Design Question
I am designing a hydraulic tree shear attachment for excavators (5-25 tons - 3-4 different models of attachment) for my own company. This is a fairly basic attachment with a hydraulic ram/cylinder that operates an arm that forces the tree into the cutting blade.
My question is about the three pins / pivot points (cylinder body side, cylinder piston side, and the large arm pin. I have modeled my design from a few other current manufacturers in Europe (I am in the US). What should I be using in terms of sleeves, bushings on these pins? Pin & boss material will likely be 4140 or similar and the steel plate will be A514 or 572. There will be grease points at each pin but what would standard procedure be for this in the heavy equipment industry?
I am assuming it would be best with pressed in sleeves of a softer material than the pin material that would be replaced when worn?
Won't let me post any pics or videos - Link to video - https://we.tl/t-HNXb5ZSMBy
Any suggestions would be great!
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2022.01.25 19:59 Party-Principle-7245 W/F/L QUICK! Yall get upvote if yall reply :)
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2022.01.25 19:59 kushtopherrobhisass My brother tried to dye his brand new Nikes in coffee and forgot about them for a month. Left them in the shower no one uses so no one knew.
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2022.01.25 19:59 MooseWithAntlers Men and women of Reddit, what bothers you about the other gender?